Mama Said, V.15

The last Mama Said? Say it ain't so! But alas, it is. The best kind of feature stops when the going gets good, and I think this fun project has seen it's day in the sun. Maybe one day I'll resurrect it and do something similar, but for now Mama Said will live on in the archives. If you're interested (and have a lot of time on your hands), you can always click the "Mama Said" tag under this post to check out all of the previous entries.

A special thank you to all of my lovely mama friends for taking part in this series. It's been so fun- and so very enlightening! I appreciate each and every one of you. And now, the final gals! I know I say this every week, but this week is such a great edition- and I'm so excited to have all three of these ladies here on the blog. Each one of them offers something very different, and be sure to check out Heir to Blair and Lauren's blog (Autumn doesn't blog) when you have a moment.

This is our wee family. Nate & I tied the knot back in 2006 and created the blonde lad, Harrison, in 2009. We live a life that is full of love, a little chaotic, but it’s our story & we’re sticking to it.

1. Free-Range Parenting. Kids will fall and cry and scrape knees and have hurt feelings. It’s part of experiencing life – so let them! Nothing screams “psycho helicopter mom” like the chick that’s hovering over her 3-year-old in a Little Gym full of foam.

2. I like to freeze it, freeze it. Make double-batches when you cook and freeze half so that you have homemade meals to pull out on even the most hectic days.

3. Make out. Be sure to smooch your significant other often. It keeps a relationship sweet & steamy. And  hell, they’re the reason you’re stuck in this parenting madness in the first place!

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my name is lauren, and here's a little bit about me: i'm 31, born & raised in salt lake city, utah, happily married, & mother of a toddler and a teenager. yes, you read that right. my daughter alanna is 14, and my son malcolm is 3. i took on the role of single parent a few months after turning 16, so i literally went from being a child to having a child. this choice was life changing, and has truly made me the person i am today. eight years later i met and married danny, alanna and i moved across the country, and we've created a great little family together in north carolina. my husband has been a wonderful father since day one, and has filled the void in both of our lives. after eleven years of having an only child, i became a new mother again when we had our son in 2008, and as cheesy as it sounds, i really feel like i am exactly where i was always meant to be.

as you can imagine, our household is a little crazy, we honestly just take it one day at a time. i am constantly learning and growing, right along with my children. as far as being a parent to a teenager... well, i hope i'm doing a good job, i'm really just figuring it out as i go, so you'll have to check back in a few years to see if we survived, ha! here are a few things i have learned this time around, with malcolm, that i hope will be helpful for other mothers (and mama's to be).    

1) if you find yourself completely unprepared, it's okay. everything will be fine. of course my first pregnancy was unplanned and completely unexpected, but when i found myself pregnant again (two years into our marriage), i basically felt the same panic all over again. my husband and i had always wanted a second child, but after many months of no such luck, we kind of just went on with life. that's always when everything falls into place, right?! when you least expect it. we were ecstatic at the idea of a new baby, but we were also far from being "ready". malcolm was born two weeks early, and we hardly had a thing for him. we didn't even have a pack of diapers, or any newborn clothing small enough to fit him. it is overwhelming to prepare for your new bundle of joy, and so many blogs/magazines/baby stores/websites make you feel like you have to have a perfect nursery before your baby arrives, but honestly all that baby "stuff" that you think you need, well most of it you don't. no need to stress yourself out, just relax and take it day-by-day.    

  

2) listen to and learn from your mother. (or your sister, aunt, mother-in-law, friend, etc.) my mother did a great job of raising me and my siblings -she is good in the kitchen, garden, with crafts and sewing, she is kind and has always had many friends. i wish i had really absorbed more of her knowledge and experience back when i first became a parent, and before i had moved 2,000+ miles away from her. i think it would have helped me to be a better mom, this second time around. i know you will be bombarded with advice, and a lot of it will be unwanted and easily ignored, but take note, because somewhere down the line it may come in handy, and she might not be nearby to help you along. it is important to make your own decisions when it comes to your own child, but these special women hold a plethora of knowledge, information, and skills, and most of the time they do know what they are talking about. learn from them.

3) some advice is common for a reason, because it is important to follow. here are a few examples: nap when your newborn naps, get your baby on a regular sleep schedule early, teach them to self-soothe, don't let them keep a binky or a bottle past a year, and don't put them to bed with a bottle. if you get in a routine where you are breaking any of these "rules", more than likely it will be very hard to correct. but if you do find yourself in that position (which we definitely have), don't beat yourself up about it. do your best to correct the situation -even if it takes days, weeks, or months longer than it should have, and be patient with your child, because after all, it was you who got them where they are. malcolm never slept well as a newborn, he cried all the time unless i held him, and he had reflux and colic for what seemed like forever. his days and nights were backwards, and we let it go waaay too long before doing anything about it. finally at 15 months, and after some sound advice from an old friend (see my #2!), we let him cry it out. and it worked. it was hard, and made us sad, but it was important -not only for the sake of his health and happiness, but for our entire household's well-being.

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My name is Autumn. I am a stay at home mom and wouldn't trade that in for the world. Although it is by far the most challenging job I have ever done it is also the most rewarding. I can't imagine doing anything besides staying home and raising my sweet babies. I have been married to my best friend Jason for 6 years. We have 2 beautiful children, a little girl Chloe (2) and a little boy Carter (1). They are 19 months apart. Although it was extremely difficult in the beginning and still has it's moments, I love their age difference. They are the best of friends and love to play with each other.

1. Live in the moment and enjoy every second spent with your little angels. You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow, they'll be a little older than they were today. Cherish each stage even the difficult ones. Time goes by so fast and before you know it they will be off to college. This day is a gift enjoy every second of it!

2. My biggest saving grace for being a stay at home mom is being a part of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) or any mommy support/play group. Having a support system of other moms who are on the same journey as you is so important. No one understands like someone who has been there themselves. Gaining knowledge from seasoned moms is priceless!

3. As a mom of 2 I have found it essential to not compare them and embrace each of their wonderful gifts and unique qualities. They achieved milestones at different times, have different personalities, likes and dislikes. The same goes for comparing your children to other  children. Don't compare- just embrace.

Mama Said, V.14

This is the second to last week of this feature and I am so excited about both of these blogging mamas! The first one is one of my favorite people in general, and she is the Mom of a Henry too!  I adore Allie, and I can't say enough great things about it. It's neat to watch her little Henry grow up, because it gives me a taste of what it will be like when our Henry is that age. She documents her family's beautiful life on her blog, and if you don't already read It's a Wonderful Life, I suggest you hightail it over there and add it to your list! Allie is truly a gem and I feel lucky to know her. The second Mom is another fabulous gal by the name of Christina. I've gotten to know Christina a little more through her blog (which I love), and I really appreciate her honest approach to parenting. Most recently I thought her post about how she saves money as a new SAHM was awesome, and how amazing does this banana cupcake with honey cinnamon frosting look? So glad she shared the recipe. Christina is gorgeous and her family is just darling...pair that with the honesty I mentined earlier, good writing, and cute photos, and her blog is another read I definitely recommend! Thank you ladies for being a part of this feature. And now first up, Allie!

My name is Allie and I'm (fairly) new to the whole mama thing.  Even though it can be stressful at times, we're loving every new second we get to experience with our Henry. We've discovered that all of the things you loved before becoming parents are a million times more awesome when you add a baby to the mix. Henry just turned one and it feels like every day he does something new. We're honestly just learning as we go and having tons of fun!

Advice:

1. Music is powerful. Seriously. Play it as often as you can! Anything and everything, babies eat it up and it can be used to soothe, distract, and educate.

2. When your baby is old enough and you feel like it's the right time (you'll just know), get them on an actual sleep schedule. Henry didn't start sleeping through the night until he was eleven months old and he wasn't napping very much during the day. Totally my fault because I just assumed he knew when to sleep and when not to sleep. We've recently started putting him down for naps at the same time everyday and he caught on quickly. Some days those few hours I get to myself save my sanity.

3. Know that it's okay to feel totally overwhelmed and stressed out. Every mom feels it- that horrible "funk". It's so easy to beat yourself up but DON'T. Just think of all the responsibilities you've taken on in such a short amount of time! At the end of the night, remember that tomorrow is a new day and that you will figure things out over time. 

Alrighty, here we go!  A bit about my family:

My husband (Gerhard) and I met in England (though he is from South Africa, and I'm from Texas).  We got married quickly and ended up staying in England for 3 years, which is where I gave birth to our son, Charl (pronounced Sharl).  We stayed there for about a year, and then moved back to Texas to be closer to my family and settle down!  Charl is now 2 1/2 years old.

Here is my "Mama Said" advice.

1. ALWAYS play!  ALWAYS.  One of the most fun things about having children is being one again yourself.  I think it is especially important when they are little, and you are their very best friend in the whole wide world.  Soon enough, they won't want you to play trains/ dress up/ spin until you're sick games.  It's hard to get housework etc all done in one day.  Who cares?  Put it off.  It won't kill you... missing out on your son/ daughters eyes lighting up when you do a silly dance... missing that might kill you.

2.  Trust your instincts.  This is so hard as new parents.  Don't get me wrong I'm not saying don't ever ask for advice.  Ask everyone questions, like, all the time.  But then don't feel bad if you decide they are stupid and decide you know what is best.  It's your family.  You will figure out what works.  On the same note, try try try not to let the judgement of other people get to you about choices you make.  We all do it unfortunately, but just try to take everything with a grain of salt, then add whatever the hell spice you want anyway.

3.  Don't forget your significant other.  It can be really hard when you've had 3 hours sleep, vomit on your shirt, and haven't bathed in 2 days and feel as sexy as a wooden spoon.  But you used to like sex right?  I mean, that's how you ended up tired and with baby vomit I assume.  ;)  I think it is important to reconnect on this very personal level with your partner.  THEY will appreciate it, and trust me... a good shag always helps with stress.